Worst Birthday Ever
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Iruka is having the worst birthday ever. Enter Kakashi. Happy birthday, Iruka!


Well, it is officially Iruka's birthday (in my time zone, anyway) so- Happy birthday, Iruka! You get one gift-wrapped copy ninja!

Prompt: "Sorry this is so late!"

* * *

Umino Iruka sighed.

It was a miserable sigh, and his shoulders were slumped, his eyes were downcast, his clothes were wrinkled, and his hair was messy. He looked like the saddest man in Konoha.

And the saddest man in Konoha he was, because it was only 8:03 and it was the _worst birthday ever. _

_EVER. _

He'd woken up to an empty bed. He'd been expecting that. After all, Kakashi had been assigned an emergency mission late yesterday afternoon. The jounin had protested but Tsunade hadn't listened- it was supposed to take him out of the village for at least three days. So Iruka hadn't expected to have Kakashi there when he woke up, but it still didn't make for a very good start to the day.

Then there was the fact he never could sleep very well when Kakashi was on missions. So he woke up still tired and with a slight headache building up behind sleepy eyes, the kind one got when they woke up early after going to bed late. The bad birthday was getting worse.

And _then_, when Iruka tried to turn on his lights at half past six, he discovered that had been a power outage. He had to get ready for school in the dark, and stubbed his toe, lost some of his papers- he still had no idea where they'd gone- and managed to grab one of Kakashi's uniforms instead of his own. He hadn't realized until he was already late, which meant he had no choice but to persevere throughout the day while tripping over his pants and drowning in his vest and suffocating against the high collar created by the mask. Which was doubly annoying, because if Kakashi had actually been home, he would have just powered the apartment with his lightening Chakra and sat there beaming like some kind of freaky human light bulb.

And, to top it all off? This was _already_ going to be his worst birthday ever because it was his _thirtieth _birthday. He was _thirty. _So _just_ when he could have used the perfect day to cheer him up- he got _this_ instead.

So, Umino Iruka was miserable as he walked to work. He half expected it to start raining, despite clear blue skies. He stumbled over his pants leg and pulled at the mask-shirt that kept trying to obscure his mouth, rubbed at his aching head, and sighed.

This was the worst birthday ever.

* * *

The worst birthday ever quickly spiraled down into the an even worse birthday than that. It was almost summer break, which meant teaching was nearly impossible. What kid wanted to learn when it was a wonderful day with wonderful weather and there was only a week until summer break?

Too bad for them that they had yet to take their exam and Iruka would like at least _some_ of them to pass, so he had to try and teach anyway. And that meant he had to weather incessant complaints of, "My friend's class isn't doing anything why do _we_ have to," and, "It looks so nice outside we should go play Iruka-sensei," and just constant whining from almost everyone in the room.

Iruka had been on the verge of declaring a pop test when one of the children had just up and left. Literally. Iruka was lecturing and suddenly Dake had just jumped to his feet and sprinted out.

With another miserable groan, he had informed the class that if he came back to find them doing anything but quietly studying, then he would give them _all_ detention, then ran out after Dake. Iruka just managed to catch up with and spin around the fleeing child when the boy threw up- all over Iruka.

The poor boy had looked absolutely mortified, watery eyes going wide and a hand flying to his mouth as he had stumbled back in horror. Iruka had taken a moment to just breathe and not scream, then forced a smile and gently guided the sick child down the hallway to the lobby. He handed him off to the receptionist and asked that his parents be called to take him home, then went to clean himself up.

* * *

"For god's sakes," Iruka muttered under his breath, wringing out the damp jounin vest over the sink for the tenth time already. "I teach eight year olds, not infants. I should _not_ be getting thrown up on. And now I've gone and ruined one of Kakashi's vests, too. Oh… this is the worst birthday _ever_."

The birthday proceeded to get even worse when Iruka had to make good on his threat of detention, as he walked in to find that the class prankster had brought several cans of spray paint and the students had began spraying at each other rather than the walls. Not that the walls and floor and… well, everything had survived unscathed- no, certainly not- and now Iruka had a multicolored room with several children sobbing with their hands over their eyes and crying that they couldn't see.

And Iruka himself was multicolored, too. He'd opened the door only to be hit with spray paint. Now Kakashi's vest was ruined and his shirt was black with a vibrant pink stripe and an assortment of lime green dots.

Iruka was so furious he'd screamed himself hoarse. Only then had he helped the children who had managed to get spray painted in the face and been temporarily blinded. And, yes, the promised detentions had been dished out to every single one of his students, but that meant _he_ had to stay an hour later, too.

All in all, still the worst birthday ever and not getting better.

* * *

By the time Iruka finally left the Academy at half past four, he was exhausted. His headache had only gotten worse throughout the day, his hands were red and sore from all the scrubbing he done at the spray paint on the ceiling that was too high up and dangerous for his students to reach, and he was altogether miserable. He dragged his feet, half-tripping with every step, no longer caring enough to pull down Kakashi's mask from popping up from below his chin.

The shirt didn't even smell like Kakashi. They had just done laundry. And now, the shirt was completely ruined and was good for nothing more than a rag.

Yep. Worst. Birthday. Ever.

Iruka decided to try and at least cheer himself up by buying himself a present. It wasn't pathetic to do that, right? He had friends, they were just all busy.

No, it wasn't pathetic at all. Besides… he really thought he deserved it.

So, Iruka went along to the department store where he had just recently been shopping for civilian clothes. He'd seen an outfit that Kakashi had told him really looked good on him- it even had a red scarf, just like Kakashi's old ANBU one, and Iruka had really wanted it. It was a bit expensive, but… whatever. He was free to indulge once and a while, wasn't he? Come on, he was _thirty_. He should at least allow himself the pleasure of buying something he looked good in.

But he had a problem- and that was he couldn't find the outfit anywhere.

He hunted all over the store. But there was no sign of that pretty shirt or matching pants, no sign of the red scarf, no sign of the soft fabric or the rich colors that Kakashi had seen on him that had made the jounin promptly blush and ravish him with just a hungry look.

Iruka finally asked a salesman. He had just looked at him blankly, then suddenly chuckled and shook his head ruefully.

"Oh, _that_ outfit. Sorry, but someone bought it last night- and we only had one of them. It was handmade, you see, so there was just the one."

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

* * *

Iruka finally dragged his miserable self down to Ichiraku's. He had no present, he was still wearing Kakashi's too-big and dirty, smelly clothes, still hot in the oversized black cloth and the itchy mask, and was still having the worst birthday ever. But... Ichiraku's was always good.

Considering how badly the rest of his day had gone, Iruka wasn't altogether surprised to find no ramen, no Teuchi, no Ayame, no anyone waiting for him at his favorite restaurant. Just a hastily scrabbled note.

_Sorry! Both of us are sick! Will be back at work next week. Thank you for coming by! -Teuchi, Ayame_

Worst. _Birthday. Ever!_

* * *

Iruka finally stumbled home to his apartment at half past seven. He still hadn't eaten, he was empty-handed except for papers to grade, still wearing too big and dirty clothes, and was still miserable.

No one had even _remembered_ it was his birthday.

With a sad sigh, Iruka dragged himself to his kitchen and decided he had no energy for anything but a cup of instant ramen. He had already prepared everything and put it in the microwave before he realized the power was _still_ out.

Iruka just stood there and stared at the microwave for a moment, then slumped down into a chair and let his head hit the table.

What was even the point of trying to salvage this day? It was already well and ruined.

Iruka's birthday dinner was a bowl of cereal, alone, in a dark apartment. He washed his dishes in silence, trudged off to his bedroom and undressed, leaving Kakashi's ruined uniform on the floor. His skin was smudged with spray paint, too, and he spent about ten minutes contorting and twisting and scrubbing until the paint was good and gone. Horrible day finally done with, Iruka then just face planted onto his bed.

Without electricity, the air wasn't on, which meant the sheets- and he- were hot and sticky. Iruka angrily kicked the blanket to the floor and rolled onto his side.

One thing left to do. "…Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear meeee. Happy birthday to me."

…Worst. Birthday. Ever.

* * *

"Iruka?"

Trained as he was, Iruka woke immediately when the soft voice called his name. He was already rolling onto his back and gripping a kunai when he recognized the intruder and relaxed, breathing heavily. "Oh. Kakashi," he murmured, sleep-addled voice slurring. "…You scared me."

The silver-haired jounin chuckled in the dark. "Sorry. And, uh… sorry this is so late! I tried to be on time, I swear I did! Well… happy belated birthday?" A collection of soft red somethings was thrust underneath his nose.

"…Uh?" Iruka grunted. He blinked at the darkness and let his head drop back to his pillow to find himself staring at his watch. 12:01.

_Oh! Yeah!_

"Oh!" Iruka sat upright, rubbing at his eyes. "Oh! I- thank you!" He looked over at Kakashi and narrowed his eyes. "Your mission- are you- Kakashi! That was supposed to last for three days! How did you get back so soon?!"

"Eh..." Kakashi's voice suddenly sounded sheepish and he shifted abashedly in the dark. "Well... you know, I _can_ work really fast, if I want to. And maybe I rushed a bit, but... I wanted to make it back in time. I know you said it didn't matter, but I still-"

"Kakashi!" Iruka interrupted, now wide awake as he glowered at the nervous man standing in front of him. He probably would've tackled him if he could see more than his hair in the dark. "I can't believe you! You shouldn't have done that; it was dangerous! If you had gotten hurt, I'd-! Oh my god, you're not hurt, are you? I swear to god, if you are...!"

The silver head shook slightly. "No, no, Iruka! I'm fine! ...Aren't you going to take the flowers? …I really am sorry that I was late, I came back as fast as I could, and please don't be mad at me for rushing, I know it was dangerous but-"

Iruka shushed him, tired mind struggling to connect the dots. What was he talking about flowers for? "I am mad at you for putting yourself in danger like that, but if you don't bring it up again, you'll get lucky and I'll forget about it. But don't ever do it again."

The soft things tickled his nose again. Iruka shifted, just too tired to get up and move away from them. Kakashi laughed nervously. "Eh... if I promise not to, will you stop being mad at me?"

"...I don't know."

"Please?" Kakashi begged. "At least for right now? ...Come on... I rushed home just for this, and if you're mad then I will have ruined your birthday after all."

Iruka grunted into his pillow again as his lover's sad voice trailed off into nothing. It was too late for Kakashi to be this weird. "...Mmh?"

"You're not taking your present. Doesn't that mean your mad at me?"

"...Present...?"

Kakashi's silver head bobbed up and down eagerly. "Yes!" The things tickled his face again. "Please take them? They were really hard to find... flowers like this almost never grow out in the wild like this and-"

"Oh! Flowers?" _That's what those soft red things had been?_ Iruka blinked the sleep out of his eyes and eagerly accepted them, then paused before smiling up at his lover. Yes, he was still mad at him, but the flowers _were_ nice. "Sorry. I'm awake now, and... not _that _mad at you. But, Kakashi, you really didn't have to get me anything, not on top of you rushing like an idiot to get home on time."

"But I wanted to." The man jumped in bed next to him and wrapped his arms around him. "So. How was your birthday? I hope the fact that I wasn't here didn't ruin it…"

Iruka scowled at the mention of that awful day. He buried his head against Kakashi's hair and inhaled, breathing in the scent that his shirt had been lacking all day and assuring himself that the man was indeed safe. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh… that bad?"

He nodded. "Worst ever. …Um… I may have… kind of… ruined your clothes."

"Mmm?"

"Well, my students did! Dake threw up on your vest, and then your shirt got spray paint all over it, and your pants are covered in dust from where I kept tripping all day. Sorry… I really should've came back and just changed into my own clothes when I realized I was wearing yours but I was already running late and… ugh. I'm sorry, Kakashi."

The jounin laughed quietly. "That's what happened to my shirt? I was wondering how it ended up pink and green. Well, I love it!"

"…What?"

"Yes! Now I have something to wear here. I don't like wearing my uniform at home but didn't have anything else. Now I can wear that shirt! Thanks, Iruka!"

Iruka just stared at his eccentric lover, then shook his head and leaned back against him. "Only you would be pleased that I managed to ruin your shirt…"

Kakashi shrugged. "I do like it, though. Makes me colorful. But, it sounds like you really did have a bad day. Well… would you like it if I told you the flowers are only half your present?"

He perked up at that. "Part two?" he asked hopefully, and Kakashi's smile flashed in the darkness.

"Yes. Just turn on the light and you'll see the second part."

"I can't. The power's out."

"_Oh!_ So _that's_ why you were getting dressed in the dark. I wondered… well, that's okay. You don't need the lights on for most of what I had planned, anyway."

Iruka smiled slowly. "…I think I like the sound of that…"

"I thought you might. But you have to see me first. Here." Kakashi held out a fist of lightening in what was possibly the most innocuous use for a chidori ever, lighting up the room enough for Iruka to see his lover and just what his lover was wearing.

Which was his birthday present. _His_ birthday present. The one the store said they were out of that could have potentially salvaged the Worst Birthday Ever- _his birthday present._

The tan shirt with intricate stitching, just a few shades lighter than Iruka's skin. The low collar and long sleeves. Loose but tight enough to hint at well-defined muscles underneath. No mask. The pants of the same color that cut off at the ankle. And the scarf, his favorite part of the whole ensemble. It was wine red and draped around his neck and dangled on past his hip.

"It looks better on you," Kakashi confessed. "I'm too pale. But, well… I'm all yours! But you have to unwrap me first. Think you can handle that, Iruka-_sensei?" _he purred, and Iruka groaned.

"Don't say such things when you're dressed like that. Or I'll end up ripping my present."

"Oh, I don't think you could do that. I'm your present, Iruka!"

Iruka just sat there and stared at him. He didn't move for so long Kakashi's self-assured grin began to falter, and then he let himself smile and get up to _unwrap _his present.

Okay, this was totally the best birthday ever.


End file.
